Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
