you mean i was at the winter classic?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
