The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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