I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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