Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
