if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
