You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
