Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
