i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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