Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
