oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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