Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
