shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
