This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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