Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Randomize
