Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
