just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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