Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
