Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize