Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
i wish my penis had a tongue
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
