I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize