I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize