Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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