He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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