walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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