I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
