And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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