Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
