Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
