I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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