Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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