After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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