with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
