@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
