I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
It was confusing and full of hummus
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
