I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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