God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize