Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
