my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
