hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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