I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
