I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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