glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
People in love make me want to vomit
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
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