i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
