names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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