i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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