There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
