If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
