We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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