well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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