oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
