thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
