did you get engaged???
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
