dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
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