is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
