When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize