i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
