i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
